They're just thoughts, so go ahead and speak

So I've kinda been working through and thinking about a blog for most of this summer that I thought would be finished a long time ago. It'll come out some day, but there's just too many thoughts in there and I'm sick of processing and analyzing my life. Instead, I'm trying to go against my basic nature in order to avoid thinking too much. I'm trying to take some time to give my mind a break and to just live - without questing towards meaning, perspective, and value.

In short, I'm trying to take a break from idealism to spend a little time as a realist.

Of course, as I imagine the rest of this blog will show, I'm not doing a very good job.

As many of you know, about 11 months ago I committed to eating no animals except for most seafood. About five months ago, I began eating chickens and turkeys. Last night, as I learned more about the intelligence of chickens, I recommitted myself to avoid eating all animals excluding most seafood (I won't eat larger, predatorial fish such as swordfish primarily for environmental reasons). Now, I didn't bring this up to stir up an old debate (as fun as that would be), but instead to bring up a point that almost directly contradicts what I wrote in the first paragraph.

I'm a fish-eating pseudo vegetarian for several reasons: my peronal health, animal rights, and for environmental and social justice.

For example, my personal ethical convictions lead me to believe that an organism that has sufficient cognitive abilities is sentient. (In otherwords, I believe that since chickens are intelligent enough to develop object permanence and complex social heirarchies then they are conscious and aware of their own existence.) Now, if an organism is sentient, then it feels pain and can suffer. My convictions then lead me to believe that it is immoral to inflict suffering on a sentient being unless there is a greater moral reason for doing so. Satisfying my taste for chicken is not a greater moral reason, so therefore, I don't eat chickens.

Likewise as another example, I also recently learned that animal agriculture contributes to global warming. Basically, turning factory farmed animals into food is responsible for 17% of America's fossil fuel emission. The average vegan diet generates at least 1.5 fewer tons of carbon dioxide emissions anually than does the average American diet. In comparison, driving a hybrid car generates just more than 1 ton less than a "regular" car per year.

Now, it would be so easy for me to ignore this knowledge and my own personal convictions regarding moral value and the environment (not to mention all the other examples and reasons you should ask me abou) and to go on eating chickens. In fact, it WAS so easy to for me to eat chicken and turkey the past 5 or so months.

And here's my point- there are a million other things that I am ethically convicted about that I don't follow through on. There are a million other things that I'm ignorant about that I purposely don't try to learn about because I don't want to be morally convicted on the issue and I don't want to sacrifice my money and my concern. It would be so easy for me to go through life just thinking and talking without acting. It would be easy to pursue a career with a nice income to provide security for my family and material items for my pleasure. It would be even easier to go through life without ever really thinking about what really matters and instead to do whats best for my family, friends, and myself. But I don't think that's me; I don't think that's why we exist. Happiness isn't the point, and ignorance isn't bliss.